McFay and the Psycho Pumpkin
Hello again. I have another exciting tale to tell you, tales
from my mysterious sources. All of that are true stories, besides
would I lie to you? Quit laughing, of course I wouldn�t. And no I
can�t tell you who or what my mysterious sources are. I have been
told that I must warn you that if you are at all sensitive to scary
things, the dark, things that go bump in the night, evil leprechauns,
gay chickens/pigs (even though there are NOT any in this story), that
you probably shouldn�t read this story. And don�t say I didn�t warn
you cuz I�m warning you right NOW!! (Laughing) think of the pansies
who would listened to that! Come on.
OK, now to be serious, hey, quit laughing I can be serious.
Kay, there was this guy named McFay. First name not last. Anyway, he
used to live in this big city, but when he was 12, he moved to this small
one horse town which shall remain nameless, it�s a doctor- patient
confidentiality sort of thing. And don�t even think of asking me what
that means cuz I�ll send the purple monkey dishwashers after you. And
don�t think that I wont cuz I will. Nevertheless, he lived in a small
town, so what you may ask. Well, well, well how little we know. When
you go from living a busy life in the city, then move to a little town
where there�s nothing to do, life gets pretty boring. So McFay tried to
make life more fun with his two sisters more fun by counting down to the
next holiday, which is Halloween. Since there wasn�t much else to do,
McFay got into making decorations and carving pumpkins, which they�re
family always did exactly one week before Halloween.
McFay had a prize-winning patch of pumpkins in his own
personal garden that he grew this summer. He had never had a garden
before, so he decided to try it. He was excited to carve all those
pumpkins. Except there was one catch, there was a rule in there house,
absolutely, positively, no scary faces on the pumpkins. That rule got
tiring after childhood. Always the same smiling faces on the pumpkins.
There�s only so many smiley faces to carve into jack o lanterns. So
when McFay picked the pumpkins from the garden to put into the house
so they could get orange, he hid one under his bed. And no one would
find it cuz he was always such an obedient child. His room was always
tidy and his parents trusted him completely, so his mom had no reason to
go into his room. And as for his sisters, they knew that he never had
anything of interest to them in his room. Since he was the only male
child, the sisters never had reason to look at his stuff cuz they were
more interested in hair accessories, nail polish, posters of hot guys
and other girly things.
So the night of the carving came round and the whole family was
carving pumpkins into happy, smiley, cheerful (by now gut wrenching)
faces. And after it was over, McFay went up to his room and secretly
carved his stashed pumpkin. He carved it into a scary, gruesome, evil
looking face. After he was finished and cleaned up the stuff, years of
being a model child caught up to him. He felt guilty. He decided to
destroy the evidence. McFay took the pumpkin and cut it up beyond
recognition, and put in the compost, and went to bed.
In the morning, McFay woke up with the jack �o lantern, in one
original piece on his stomach. It startled him quite a bit. Come on
now wouldn�t that scare you to? Don�t snicker! What about the pansies
that couldn�t read on after the warning at the beginning?! You should
laugh at them. Anyhow, he totally flipped out, and knocked the pumpkin
on the floor. �Calm down, calm down,� he thought, �I must have just
dreamed that I got rid of it.� So he put the gruesome pumpkin into a
garbage bag and hopped on his bike and motored to his friend�s house.
McFay�s plan was to get rid of the pumpkin by giving it away. He thought
that Nary would like the pumpkin cuz Nary was always thought of as being
evil, like the pumpkin. When McFay got to Nary�s house, McFay said that
the pumpkin was his if Nary sward not to say where he got it from. Nary
loved the pumpkin and sward never to unleash the truth of the jack �o
lanterns origin. So McFay biked away with the pumpkin on Nary�s
doorstep.
The next morning, the pumpkin was on McFay�s chest again. And
once again scaring the c#&p out of him. This time it had a note in
it�s mouth. It said �to get rid of me, we must be one.� What dose
that mean? That�s what everyone will ask. And so did McFay. So
don�t ask me cuz the answer is coming.
So anyway, McFay phoned
Nary and asked him if the pumpkin was still on his front step.
Nary checked and it was gone. Nary was very angry (as usual) that
his �so cool� pumpkin was gone. McFay told him to calm down and
explained the whole mess to Nary. Nary was kinda shocked. McFay
asked for suggestions as to what to do. Of coarse, all that Nary
could think of were silly ideas. One of which was to put the
pumpkin in a bag so it cant see where it�s going, take it far
away from the house and bury it. So that�s what they did.
The next morning, guess what happened. The pumpkin was back
on McFay�s bed. And guess what? It scared him. And guess what else?
The same note was in it�s mouth. Then it struck him. McFay had an idea.
He went to the kitchen and got a knife and a bowl, them ran back to his
room. McFay �slice and diced� the pumpkin so it didn�t look like a Jack
�o lantern anymore. Next he took the pieces to the kitchen, got out a
piece of paper and started to work.
Ding! The oven timer goes off.
Anxiously, McFay ran to the oven and removed a beautiful pumpkin pie.
Then McFay ate the whole pie.
When he went to bed, he hoped that the pumpkin wouldn�t come
back because that might hurt after he ate it and all.
In the morning,
the pumpkin wasn�t there! He had solved the mysterious note to be one
with the pumpkin. (ta-da)
McFay was lucky, this time. But I bet he
won�t ever do anything against his parents� wishes again, because he
may have to face harsh consequences. Not with his parents, not with
law, not with friends, but with the unknown mysteries of everything
that only I know about. So beware.
By: V.
V.
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